Nash Azarian

Creative + Creator

After spending my life trapped in a body that felt like a punishment, I began my medical transition when I was 27 years old. Until my transition, I tried everything to 'fit in'. Putting aside my unrelenting discomfort, I went through periods where I tried to dress 'like a girl' and date boys. It was horrifying! I was lost, confused, deeply depressed and consumed with anxiety. Every doctor thought medication was the answer, that it would solve my 'issues' (as an adult, I'm deeply disappointed that even the Columbia trained Psychologist didn't spend time to exploring my gender issues when it was so so obvious based upon the way I dressed and the behaviors I was exhibiting!) Until I was 26 years old, my only exposure to Transgender people was through the movie Boys Don't Cry or the mocking of Trans people on Jerry Springer - neither of these set the tone for a happy life in the future. I never imagined my life as an adult because I couldn't envision living that long based upon how miserable and unfulfilled I was. Transitioning changed and saved my life. Transitioning, becoming myself, gave me my life.

All of this made it incredibly obvious to me that I needed to share about myself in any way possible. I remember the emptiness, the loneliness, and the hopelessness I felt until I could step into my own authenticity, and if authentically sharing about myself and my journey, the good and the painful (the transitioning and gender affirming surgical process is FAR from being butterflies and rainbows), can help even one person see that there is a future for them, it is all worth it to me.